Teens Need Parents

  I just attended a workshop on helping teach parents...to be parents...
Somehow along the way in my generation, many parents have grown to think their kids don't want to around them. Major wrong.
 Turns out, teens love being with their parents. They look up to them as role models, like to have family dinners, talk time and do stuff together.
  Why are we surprised at this ? Personally I always loved doing stuff with my parents, games, bbqs and going on vacations together. And my kids have always seem to like being around us and bringing friends home to have dinner with us. I treasure those times and hope they continue to do that. So it makes me sad to hear of parents who think their kids don't like being around them. What makes them think so?
  Sometimes I think my generation assumes kids grow into parent distaste and so parents find things to keep them busy, hence they are never home.  Parents have to weather this age with a lot of being at home because that's where your kids expect to find you.
  As a parent it's hard to not ever say, "I told you so," "wasn't that what I just said?" and "when I was your age."
  But as a parent your favorite line to say should be, "I love you!"
  Seriously, if your teen doesn't hear anything else out of you but, "I love you," is the best thing you can say. Okay, it shouldn't be the only thing of course, but you can use that phrase more than once a day!
 

Not Giving Up

My family just attended Good Friday Services at our parish where our pastor made a very good point. When at last Jesus was hanging on the cross, he didn’t say, “I quit, or I give up.”  What he did say was, “It is finished.”

  Jesus didn’t give up his fight, he just knew he had completed his mission.  And Father Tom reminded us that each of us has a mission too and we cannot give it up.

  Many of us wonder just exactly what is our mission.  As parents, it’s raising our children to be happy, productive, serving members of God’s family and society. It’s teaching them rights from wrongs.

  At the center, our mission is to help kids protect themselves and others. To stand up again wrong, protect the innocent or those too young or weak to protect themselves.

  Helping our kids find their mission in life is quite daunting. There are so many avenues they can take, job and career choices, vocations—will they choose a spouse? How do they best do that? Where should they live, how will they take care of themselves?

  We get up every morning and get into our routines and sometimes forget the big picture. Every once in a while it’s good to stand back and look at your life, your family and say, “are we living a mission?”

  A family mission doesn’t have to be some big far out  thing.  We all live our mission life among our neighbors, our friends, the other families in our schools and churches. It’s working together to protect our freedoms, to make important those things that keep our families safe. It’s standing up for those beliefs by taking part in voting, reading or listening to the news, to know what is going on in the world.

  Family missions have an important place in society. It is what shapes our society into a civilized place. It’s not about the individual’s choices or what makes only you happy. It’s what is the best thing for our entire family, our neighborhood or school or church community. Sometimes that means a sacrifice. You may not always be happy, but you know you are working toward a better life for your family and your nation.

  The way we are raising our children now, teaching them responsibilities, teaching them self control and discipline is how our society will shape itself in the future and determine whether we keep on being a free society.   If our children are only taught how to make themselves happy with no sense of sacrifice, they will grow up selfish, greedy and weak. But if we teach them it’s important to serve others, that the world does not revolve around them, that they are responsible for other people in the world, then our society will head in the direction of peace and Godliness. 

  Our goal is not to die with the most money...but to finish the same mission Jesus set out to complete; get everyone to Heaven.

 

The World I Create When Writing...

"The world I create in writing compensates for what the real world does not give me."  Gloria Anzaldua

That's a good thing too because if you believe everything a writer writes as having happened to them, many of them wouldn't be here to write about it! Hahahaha...seriously though, writing can help you live vicariously whether it's adventures, danger or mystery or even really hard core Park cour which is really cool, but if you hit those concrete walls wrong just once it's going to be hard to type a story about it!  - Lisa

Momma Guilt

   "Raising children brings so much joy, fulfillment and meaning to life. It also brings guilt by the boatload. It is impossible to raise another human being without routinely screwing up in monumental ways - and that's when you're trying!" Simcha Fisher  

Hard Core Par Cour- Okay not so hardcore!

  At our family martial arts business, we began an 8 week class with adults and older students. We are having lots of fun mixing it up with self defense, ground work and weapons work. I needed to get back to basics and remember a lot of stuff like ground defense, and mostly, jumping jacks.
   I do not enjoy jumping jacks. Many women don't like jumping jacks and I'll leave that said as enough for now.
   But I have been working hard to loose a couple of pounds and get in better shape so I'm back at doing the jumping jacks. But what I really want to learn to do is Park Cour. In case you don't know what Par Cour is, just watch the first James Bond movie with Daniel Craig in it. The guy he is chasing up and down buildings, cranes, rooftops, is doing Par Cour. It means running, jumping, off walls, metal works, you name it. It looks like fun.  Do I need to have my head examined? Probably. And bring plenty of bandaids.  But being able to jump and around and control your falls looks like fun to me.  This week, Daughter Two and I are going to try a little at the Advanced Class because we'll be working in the back hallway, the only part of the building with cinder blocks, loading dock and hard floors.  Apparently it's hard on the drywall to run, land with your feet against the wall and push off to another drywall wall. Hence the concrete and cinder blocks.
   So, I'm hoping to give it a try and still have fingers to type next week!
   I may be over 50 but I like to have adventures, and Par Cour seems to be the next adventure. Besides, I write stories about Kip MacAllister and she may have to chase someone doing Par Cour, she has to know how to do it too, and she can't do it unless I do!

Quote of the Week

"Mother's don't sleep, they worry with their eyes closed!"  (Debbie Weaver, mom on "The Neighbors")

You Can Still Live After 50 For Crying Out Loud

   Who is writing this garbage? I just read an article by a woman, who I assume is over 50 since she titles the article, "Things WE Should Probably Never Do Again After 50."
   I am insulted! At 53 I still engage in lots of activities and am in no way ready to sit and vegg for the rest of my life.
   See what you think! Here is here list:
1. Parkour
2. Jello-O Shots
 3.Karaoke after midnight
 4. Karaoke after Jell-O shots
5. Trying to break a plank with your head.
6. Mud wrestling (intentional)
7. Crowd surfing the mosh pit.
8. Joining the circus. Joining the ashram.
9. Drinking champagne from your son's girlfriend's shoe.
10. Drinking champagne from your daughter's boyfriend's shoe.
11. Drinking champagne from your shoe.
12. Extreme bingo cruises.
13. Collecting owls make from shells, frogs from ceramic or any lawn gnomes.
14. Playing basketball in high heels
15. Joining a wet T-shirt contest
16. Single spacing your Christmas letter.

Okay, first, I think Parkour is fascinating. If you haven't seen the first James Bond movie with Daniel Craig you may not know what this is, but bouncing and bounding up the walls of buildings, steps, bike racks, is pretty amazing. While I may not do the building things, I still like bounding off the jungle gym at the park. Or at least jumping off the steps in the back yard, or rolling down our hill in the backyard!

I only recently discovered what Jell-O shots were, they are not made with Jello! They are just super sweet single shots of alcohol that taste like Skittles or stuff like that. While I haven't tried one simply because I haven't thought of it, I might still!!!

And if you are listening to a live band, which is the most awesome, you don't need a karaoke machine because you can sing along with the band!! At least the bands I know don't mind if I sing along from the audience. But anyway, while not karaoke?? At least you are participating and not sitting off at a table in the back falling asleep!!!

And after all the years of breaking boards in martial arts, we ALL know it's better to NEVER break a plank over your head! Duh!

I get muddy, painted, dirty doing any job around the house so mud wrestling just adds drama to it. But ask Cait and Ryan about swimming in mud at the Warrior Dash, it's not much fun so I would not wrestle in it at any age.

I tell my kids to never crowd surf - no matter what your age. Trust crazy fans to keep you in the air? I don't think so!

I like circuses, what is wrong with joining them if you like swinging, jumping on elephants, dare devil motorcycle riding?

And drinking champagne out of ANYBODY's shoe is disgusting no matter what age you are!!!

What is an extreme bingo cruise anyway? I don't like bingo, never have, so no worries.

If you collect things that's cool, why should you stop at 50? It's the dusting around those things I don't like so I don't collect things that collect dust!

I can play basketball in high heels thank you very much without so much as a twisted ankle! I also hike up and down the choir steps in church in heels, run across the parking lot, gravel, asphalt, whatever. If a woman wears high heels she had better know how to use them!!! (P.S. they make good weapons too!)

Wet T-shirts are never allowed - no matter age.

And Christmas letters are more interesting if double spaced, not just for the old!!! If you add pictures even better, but only sent to those people who actually know your family, your kids or pets. If you have to ask who are these people, they should not be sending you a letter!

Stay At Home Mom Sequel

   Stay at Home Mom the Sequel is how I describe my life right now!  Way back, 26 years ago, my husband and I made the decision that I would stay home with our son when he was born. At the time, it just seemed like the natural thing to do. I was an aspiring writer who just wanted time to write, and staying home with our kids seemed like the perfect place to do that.  While I had graduated with a teaching degree in English and Journalism, I didn't want to teach, I wanted to write. Yes, of course I looked for jobs, but landed up as a secretary in a busy office which I truly enjoyed.

   Then my hubs graduated from college and promptly got a job for which we had to move, first 120 miles away from our present digs, then after 6 weeks he was transferred 700 miles away! Pregnant with our first child, I did not look for a job since we only had one car and I would just have to quit when he was born. We were 700 miles away from family and friends, didn’t know a soul it wasn’t a hard decision to make about staying home.

   But when our son was two weeks old, we moved back to our hometown. We had quickly grown tired of being away from grandparents, family and friends and wanted to raise our child close to family.  I began working on a budget, for food, baby clothes, etc. We were back with friends who liked nothing better than coming over to our house and watching movies. Easy budget!

   But as time went on, there were more expenses of course and I was able to take home work from the office I worked before we moved, stuffing envelopes was the easiest thing to do with a one year old crawling all over the place. And I was writing too, mostly small fiction pieces, but nothing I could sell any where.

   By this time I was a very committed stay at home mom. I loved being with our son. We had fun outside, on walks around the neighborhood, going window shopping with grandmas and aunts. We lived frugally, we bought a house with what is called “elbow grease and Ernst money.” We recruited our parents to help totally clean and repaint a very modest two bedroom home. It was drafty, had old windows and a tiny yard, but when we pulled up the grossly dirty carpeting, we discovered wonderful wood floors which we cleaned and refurbished. My father-in-law helped us remodel the bathroom, my parents helped tear out the carpeting, and clean out the basement.

   After our daughter was born, we bought a second hand car from my parents and I was mobile! But that also meant gasoline so I looked for other small jobs I could work at from home, more stuffing and mailings and selling a couple of pieces of anecdotes to small magazines for $5 or $10. 

   Staying at home wasn’t easy. I wore a lot of hand me down clothing. My kids however, having the advantage of several doting aunts who were not yet married, received all kinds of clothes and toys! We made the best out of hand me down furniture with a few pieces we bought new. My hubs worked hard at many different jobs through the years and was so very supportive of me staying home with the kids because that’s what he wanted to too. In the 1980’s when women were supposed to out of the house earning just as much as a man, women who stayed home were beginning to be hard to find. I luckily had a couple of friends who also stayed home and we had play dates with the kids and “craft dates” for us moms!  One of my friends and I even began an at home craft business, complete with business cards and everything. “Les and Lisa” didn’t make a big splash in the business worked, but it made us both feel good about being stay at home moms and fulfilling our creative sides. We painted and air brushed t-shirts, crocheted blankets and just had fun.

 

 

Dear God...

Dearest God,

I know I drive people crazy by obsessively worrying about them. I know I have to leave them alone to make their own decisions. I know I have to stop using my fears to manipulate them into doing things they don’t want to do. There I’ve said it. Now I just need to act on it. That’s where you come in God. Please help me to detach with love from the ones I love, and leave them in your protective care. You know what’s best for them so much more than I do. So I pray that your will be done, not mine. Help me to love them in a way that will be supportive without stifling, encouraging without overpowering and concerned but not controlling. Lord I pray you’ll lead them in your ways and keep them safely under your wing.  Allia Zobel Nolan

Today's Quote:

Everyone believes in luck. How else do you explain the success of your enemies?